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The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less

ISBN: 978-0-470-40180-4
224 pages
December 2008, Jossey-Bass
The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less (047040180X) cover image


From the authors of the best-selling The Secrets of Happily Married Men comes the much-anticipated follow-up book The Secrets of Happily Married Women. In their first book, Dr. Haltzman and his coauthor Theresa Foy DiGeronmio outlined a recipe for men about growing a happy marriage: treat marriage with the same sense of purpose, resolve, and single-minded devotion that they have for their job. Although that workplace formula works well for men, an entirely different set of criteria resonate with women.

In The Secrets of Happily Married Women, Dr. Haltzman tells us stories from real women who are happy in their relationships. These women know how to get more out of their partners by doing less, by not trying so hard to make men perfect, not dragging them to couples therapy, not expecting them to think or behave like a woman. These are women from Dr. Haltzman's clinical practice and culled from thousands of contributors to his Web site www.HappilyMarriedWomen.com. They have learned to understand how men really work and tap into men's powerful hard-wired desire to please women and "be a better man."

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Table of Contents



1. Know Your Husband.

2. Nurture His Needs—and Yours.

3. Fight Better.

4. Talk Less.

5. Have Lots of Sex.

6. Take Charge of Your Own Happiness.

7. Heal Thyself.

Epilogue: When Mamma’s Happy, Everybody’s Happy.


About the Authors.

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Author Information


DR. SCOTT HALTZMAN is clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and medical director of NRI Community Services in Rhode Island. He also has an active private practice, with a focus on marriage counsel-ing for individuals and couples. You can reach him at DrScott@HappilyMarriedWomen.com.

THERESA FOY DIGERONIMO is the author of more than fifty books in the fields of education, parenting, and family relationships.

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Press Release

January 19, 2009
THE SECRETS OF HAPPILY MARRIED WOMEN: How To Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less

NOW IN PAPERBACK, this ground-breaking book got people talking about the revolutionary idea that women could enjoy their marriages more, if they would only learn how to do less.

For generations, women have been visiting therapists, buying countless self-help books, and compromising their values and desires without achieving the type of happiness that is possible in a marriage. Enough is enough.

THE SECRETS OF HAPPILY MARRIED WOMEN: How To Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less (Jossey-Bass, a Wiley imprint; January 2009; $14.95, Paper; 978-0-470-40180-4) reveals that women are working too hard on “fixing” their marriages. Instead, renowned psychiatrist and best-selling author Dr. Scott Haltzman teaches women how to recognize and take advantage of men’s powerful, hard-wired desire to please them. Once women understand this core male instinct, they can actually start getting more out of their relationship by doing less.

Following the success of Dr. Haltzman’s The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife’s Heart Forever (Jossey-Bass/Wiley, 2006), THE SECRETS OF HAPPILY MARRIED WOMEN is comprised of lessons learned from 20 years of clinical practice and thousands of women’s participation in his Internet community, Happilymarriedwomen.com.

Some of the secrets Dr. Haltzman reveals include:

- Learn how to communicate about the connection you seek.
- Don’t try to be perfect. Your house doesn’t have to look like the Barbie Dream House.
- Nurture your husband’s strengths, and don’t try to change what you can’t.
- Speak in shorter sentences, don’t skip from subject to subject and pause frequently.
- Take time for your own exercise, spiritual and intellectual needs.

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