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You Paid How Much For That?!: How to Win at Money Without Losing at Love

ISBN: 978-0-7879-5888-6
416 pages
March 2002, Jossey-Bass
You Paid How Much For That?!: How to Win at Money Without Losing at Love (0787958883) cover image
Money is the number one problem area for couples because money isn't simply about dollars and cents. If you scratch the surface of almost any money issue, you'll find a relationship issue complicating if not actually driving the problem. That's why You Paid How Much For That? not only sound reveals principles of money management but also provides you with practical tools to uncover and understand the deeper, often hidden meanings of money and conquer the problems it raises in your relationship.
You Paid How Much For That? can help you to
* Learn how a Saver and Spender can live together-happily!
* Gain a healthy respect for what money can-and can't-do for you.
* Understand how your upbringing, culture, and gender influence how you and your partner approach relationships and money differently.
* Find out how to solve problems together in ways that promote teamwork.
* Discover practical ways to get what you both want most.
* Capture a vision for a prosperous and loving future together.
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Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1


1 Marriage, Money, and Real Life 11

2 The Master Key 33

3 An Introduction to Invisible Forces 48

4 The Full Monty: Exposing Hidden Issues 58

5 Great (and Not So Great) Expectations 72

6 Where Expectations Come from 90

7 Just How Opposite Is the Opposite Sex? 108

Going Deep 125


8 Talking Things Out 139

9 Real Solutions for Real Problems 156

10 The Golden Ground Rules 174

11 Accounting for Love 187


Introduction to Money Management 211

12 Getting It Together 217

13 What Do You Have? 226

14 Smart Borrowing, Dumb Debt 240

15 Insurance: How to Protect What You’ve Got 257

16 Taxes: Keeping More of What You Make 277

17 A Penny Saved Is . . . Not Much! How to Control Spending 288

18 Investing: How to Get More 305


19 The Heart of Commitment 327

20 Turning Reality into Dreams 343


Choosing a Financial Planner 367

Our Ten Favorite Books on Money Management and Investment 375

Resources and Training 377

Research and References 379

About the Authors 387

Index 389

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Natalie H. Jenkins is vice president and marketing director of PREP, Inc., provider of one of the most respected marriage enrichment programs in the world. Scott M. Stanley of the University of Denver is a noted expert on commitment and coauthor of Fighting for Your Marriage. William C. Bailey teaches family economics and studies attitudes toward money at the University of Arkansas. Howard J. Markman of the University of Denver is noted for his work on divorce prevention and coauthor of Fighting for Your Marriage.
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"So often we aren't even aware of what money means to us--much less to our partner. This book guides you through the maze and--imagine this--actually shows you how to use money to increase love and intimacy! It will help you to have not only better financial future, but also a better marriage and a better life. Buy this book, it's worth its weight in gold."
--Diane Sollee, director, Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education and www.smartmarriages.com
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