The Anger Workbook for Christian Parents
March 2004, Jossey-Bass
Twelve Steps Toward Anger Management for Parents.
1. The Purpose of Anger.
Step 1: Learn to identify what is behind the expression of anger, and make that a primary focus.
2. How Anger Is Mismanaged.
Step 2: Be aware of the ways you may choose to handle anger poorly, so you can be specific in your efforts to improve.
3. Healthy Ways to Manage Anger.
Step 3: When you have a responsible message to communicate, do so in a way that upholds the dignity of the others involved.
4. Breaking Your Cycles of Dependency.
Step 4: Have a strong sense of purpose as a parent in order to respond to anger-producing circumstances as an initiator, not a reactor.
5. Dropping Excessive Control.
Step 5: Realize that the best way to be in control is to diminish control tactics, speaking instead about choices.
6. The Struggle for Superiority.
Step 6: Refuse to lord over your child, but speak instead as one who believes in the equal worth of each family member.
7. Anger as an Ego Trip.
Step 7: Let humility be your guide as you demonstrate to your children that selfishness has no place in successful anger management.
8. Dropping Defenses.
Step 8: Don’t be threatened by an adversarial response, but be confident in your own response.
9. Establishing Boundaries.
Step 9: Respect the fact that each family member is responsible for his or her choices.
10. Myths That Perpetuate Anger.
Step 10: Identify the false assumptions that feed your anger, and let truth guide your decisions in discipline.
11. Displaced Anger.
Step 11: Identify your own outside stressors that create anger, and choose to address them separately, as opposed to bringing them into parental communication.
12. The Overcomer’s Mind-Set.
Step 12: Set aside an attitude of defeat, and recognize that in each situation you can choose to be an overcomer.
Anger, Teenagers, and Medication.
Dr. Frank Minirth is president of the Minirth Clinic, which he founded in 1975. The author or coauthor of more than fifty books, he is featured on "Life Perspectives" with Don Hawkins, a national program currently on fifty-five stations, and on "American Family Radio," currently on two hundred radio stations in America.
—Dr. Garry L. Landreth, Regents professor and director, Center for Play Therapy, University of North Texas
"Les Carter and Frank Minirth give you all you need to know
about how to use this dicey emotion to your advantage so that you
become the parent you want to be. As a parent of two boys, I found
this resource invaluable and I know you will too."
—Les Parrott, Ph.D., author, High-Maintenance Relationships
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