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Pains in the Office: 50 People You Absolutely, Definitely Must Avoid at Work!

ISBN: 978-0-85708-193-3
218 pages
February 2011, Capstone
Pains in the Office: 50 People You Absolutely, Definitely Must Avoid at Work! (0857081934) cover image


What could be worse than being stuck in an office all day? Meetings, deadlines... colleagues. Surely no torture can crush the spirit so completely as prolonged exposure to these people. You?ve faked phone calls to avoid them. You?ve hidden in toilet cubicles until they?ve gone away. At last there?s an effective way to fight back.

Pains in the Office will help you identify, shun and plan your revenge on the 50 worst types of people you meet at work. Your job may be awful, you may hate your colleagues with a passion, but here at least is a happy place to retreat into. This is your comfort blanket, hidey-hole and fire escape all rolled into one.

Pains in the Office is guaranteed to become as indispensable to the office worker as cigarette breaks and free stationery. It?s the perfect antidote to nightmarish co-workers everywhere!

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Table of Contents

Pains - A Catalyst for Social Change.


The Joy of Work.

The Arse Coverer.

The Ball Breaker.

The Body Beautiful.

The Boozer.

The Bowel Mover.

The Bully.

The Butt Licker.

The Chimneystack.

The Company Bike.

The Competitor.

The Control Freak.

The Corrupt Bastard.

The Diet Bore.

The Dinosaur.

The Distractor.

The Early Bird.

The Eccentric.

The Egotist.

The Excuse Maker.

The Extracurricular.

The Fad Surfer.

The Flash Git.

The Gooser.

The Gossip.

The Grass.

The Great Bore of Today.

The Idle Git.

The Jargon Junkie.

The Leech.

The Liar.

The Little Big Man.

The Love Birds.

The Martyr.

The Masticator.

The Mental Masturbator.

The Midas.

The Mismanager.

The Moaner.

The Nitpicker.

The Nose y Parker.

The Political Corrector.

The Politician.

The Road Block.

The Sarky Bastard.

The Sinatra.

The Space Invader.

The Stress Junkie.

The Teflon and Marigold.

The Village Idiot.


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Author Information

Andrew Holmes is a writer, grumpy old man, gadfly and collector of stories and observations about the people around him. He spends far too much time getting worked up about other people's failings for his own good and has taken up Salsa dancing to take his mind off it all. he likes to spend as much time as possible with his family - at home, with the curtains drawn, the phone off the hook and the door locked securely.

Dan Wilson is an illustrator, artist, thinker and borderline genius who clearly suffers delusions of grandeur. he started doodling at the age of three and has rarely stopped. Allergic to suits, Dan avoids  all pains in public by hiding out in his ivory tower in front of the drawing board. He also enjoys tea, pylons and riding his All Terrain Board.

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"...ought to elicit a chuckle of recognition or two." (Publishing News, 19th March 2004)

"Pains in the Office (Capstone 2004) contains pastiches of easily identifiable office types such as the Boozer, the Butt Licker and the Bully...this book offers genuinely useful tips on how to deal with such types. A volume no office lavatory should be without." (Daily Telegraph, 22nd February 2006)

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