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The Gender Communication Handbook: Conquering Conversational Collisions between Men and Women

ISBN: 978-1-118-12879-4
352 pages
May 2012, ©2012, Pfeiffer
The Gender Communication Handbook: Conquering Conversational Collisions between Men and Women (1118128796) cover image
Men and women exhibit distinct, innate, and acculturated sex differences in their verbal and nonverbal communication styles. In the work environment, the difficulties and misunderstandings generated by these differences not only reduce productivity and efficiency but also lower morale. In this book, the authors show through empirical research and extensive anecdotal evidence—garnered from fifty years of combined corporate work experience, research, gender seminars, coaching and consulting—the specific verbal and nonverbal behaviors men and women employ that define our sex roles' expectations yet paradoxically often ultimately result in barriers to effective inter-gender communication.
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Exercises and Tables xi

Preface xv

Acknowledgments xix

The Authors xxi

Introduction 1

CHAPTER 1 Getting Started: Are Men and Women Just Born Different or Do They Learn to Be Different? 7

Learning Objectives 7

Introduction 8

Section 1: Introduction to Gender: It’s Complicated 10

Section 2: What Do Women and Men Really Think of Each Other? 19

Section 3: Transcending Gender: The Androgynous Answer 23

CHAPTER 2 He Speaks, She Speaks: What Different Things They Say 35

Learning Objectives 35

Introduction 36

Section 1: Talk the Talk: Facts and Fiction About Sex Differences in Speech Communication 37

Section 2: Different Speech Styles, Outcomes, and Missed Connections 48

Action Steps for Men 62

Action Steps for Women 63

CHAPTER 3 Gender Conversation Technicalities: Interruptions, Overlapping, and Other Turn-Taking Dilemmas 65

Learning Objectives 65

Introduction 66

Section 1: How He and She Interrupt and Overlap Their Talk 67

Section 2: Women’s and Men’s Perspectives: Other and Self 77

Action Steps for Men 85

Action Steps for Women 86

CHAPTER 4 Women, Men, and Unspoken Messages 87

Learning Objectives 87

Introduction 88

Section 1: Unspoken Gender Messages 88

Section 2: Gender Touch and Power at Work 101

Section 3: Space: The Final Gender Frontier 115

Section 4: Something in the Way She and He Move: Women’s and Men’s Gestures and Movements 123

The Voice’s Message 130

Action Steps for Men 132

Action Steps for Women 133

CHAPTER 5 How She and He Listen 135

Learning Objectives 135

Introduction 136

Section 1: Listening Between Him and Her 137

Section 2: Women and Men Do Listen Differently 149

Section 3: Improved Listening Skills for Women and Men 160

Action Steps for Men 169

Action Steps for Women 170

CHAPTER 6 Men, Women, and Conflict: Take It Like a Man Versus Nice Girls Don’t Do Conflict 171

Learning Objectives 171

Introduction 172

Section 1: The Playground as Battleground 173

Section 2: Nice Girls Don’t Do Confl ict 188

Section 3: Play Fighting 190

Section 4: The Anger Advantage 194

Rule Makers and Rule Breakers: Is There a Double Standard in Expressing Anger? 202

Section 5: Crying as a Female Trademark 205

Action Steps for Men 215

Action Steps for Women 216

CHAPTER 7 He and She Wired 217

Learning Objectives 217

Introduction 218

Section 1: He and She: The Smiley Face Dilemma 219

How and Why He and She Use Emoticons 223

Section 2: E-Mail Showdown: One Sentence Versus One Paragraph 228

Section 3: Why Can’t He Be Nice? 232

Section 4: Can E-Mail Level the Playing Field for Women? 236

Action Steps for Men 239

Action Steps for Women 240

CHAPTER 8 Final Thoughts on Reaching

Across the Gender Divide 241

Learning Objectives 241

Introduction 242

Options for Closing the Training Program 242

Action Plan and Next Steps 256

CHAPTER 9 Example One-Hour Program 263

Learning Objectives 263

Introduction 264

Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 264

Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication Between Men and Women 267

CHAPTER 10 A Half-Day Program 271

Learning Objectives 271

Introduction 272

Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 272

Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication Between Men and Women 276

CHAPTER 11 A Full-Day Program 281

Learning Objectives 281

Introduction 282

Example 1: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women 283

Example 2: Talk Remedies for Communication

Between Men and Women 289

Additional Instruments and Training Tools 297

Recommended Resources 305

References 307

Index 313

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Audrey Nelson, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized trainer, keynote speaker, author, and consultant who helps organizations increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication strategies. She specializes in gender communication, conflict management, generational, and interpersonal communication skills. www.AudreyNelson.com

Claire Damken Brown, Ph.D., is a savvy speaker, consultant, and seminar leader specializing in diversity and equal employment opportunity strategies, gender communication, sexual harassment prevention, cultural competency, and conflict resolution. She partners with businesses to build inclusive leadership skills and harassment-free workplaces where people stay and thrive.

www.DamkenBrown.com

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