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Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness: How Embracing the Virtues of Loyalty, Generosity, Justice, and Courage Can Strengthen Your Relationship

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Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness: How Embracing the Virtues of Loyalty, Generosity, Justice, and Courage Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Blaine J. Fowers

ISBN: 978-0-787-94567-1 September 2000 Jossey-Bass 256 Pages

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According to psychologist Blaine Fowers, the myth of marital happiness-that good communication, emotional gratification, and intimacy result in a healthy relationship-has made marriages more fragile than ever before and we must let it go. Does this mean that we should give up on love, satisfaction, intimacy, emotional support, good communication, and good sex in marriage? That marriage must be continued solely on the basis of grim commitment? That no one should divorce? Not at all. Instead, Dr. Fowers shows how we can re-envision marriage as a wonderful opportunity to practice the virtues of friendship, loyalty, generosity, and justice in the shared pursuit of our deepest ideals.

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There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling it Off and Moving On (Paperback $21.00)

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THE MYTH.

The Guidance of Myth.

The Magic Union.

How Did We Get Here? A Brief History of a Myth.

Marital Therapy, the Science of Marriage, and the Myth.

A NEW VISION OF MARRIAGE.

Creating the Good Marriage: From Technique to Character.

The Virtue of Friendship: Building a Partnership Marriage.

The Virtue of Loyalty: Creating a Lasting Marriage.

The Virtue of Generosity: Fashioning a Giving Marriage.

The Virtue of Justice: Fostering a Fair Marriage.

How Can All of Us Work Together to Cultivate Strong Marriages?

Notes.

About the Author.

Index.
"Fowers's inspiring new approach to marriage may well provide the missing link in our struggle to rebuild and fortify the flagging institution of marriage. All couples--from starry-eyed newlyweds to those about to throw in the towel--should take turns reading this book aloud to each other." --Diane Sollee, founder and director, Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education

"At last we have a book that sets forth the true basis for Anduring marriages. It moves beyond the psychobabble about emotional payoff and beyond even today's panacea of 'communication' to describe real marriage as a partnership directed toward ends good in themselves." --Robert N. Bellah, professor of sociology, emeritus, University of California Berkeley, coauthor, The Good Society

"I've read a lot of books, for a lot of years, about a lot of theories pertaining to marriage. But none of them have come close to capturing the beauty, lyrical quality, and profound truth of this book. This book is different from all the rest. The truth shines out from it." --Philip Cushman, author, Constructing the Self, Constructing America