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Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success

Don't Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success

Sylvia Lafair

ISBN: 978-0-470-49673-2 February 2009 Jossey-Bass 256 Pages




How can you get to the bottom of workplace behaviors that simply don't work for you or your organization?

Don't Bring It to Work explores what happens when patterns originally created to cope with family conflicts are unleashed in the workplace.?This groundbreaking book draws on the success of Sylvia Lafair's PatternAware program Total Leadership Connections. Throughout the book she shows how to break the cycle of pattern repetition and offers the tools that can turn unhealthy family baggage into creative energy that will foster better workplace associations and career success.

Lafair identifies the thirteen most common patterns that correspond to characters familiar to anyone who has ever worked in an office: Super Achiever, Rebel, Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer, Clown, Martyr, Splitter, Procrastinator, Drama Queen or King, Pleaser, Denier, and Avoider. To help overcome destructive behavior problems, she maps out the three main steps for becoming aware of patterns and finding the way OUT:

  • Observe your behavior to discern underlying patterns
  • Understand and probe deeper to discover the origins of these patterns
  • Transform your behavior by taking action to change

The book includes a wealth of real-life anecdotes and practical, workbook-style exercises that clearly show how anyone can get beyond old, outmoded attempts at conflict resolution and empower themselves to make profound differences both at work and in their personal lives.

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction xv

Part One: The Home-Work Connection

1 Relationships at Work and at Home 3

2 Understanding Behavior at Work and at Home 20

3 Understanding Workplace Crises and Conflicts 43

Part Two: The Way Out: Observe, Understand, and Transform Your Patterns

4 The Thirteen Most Common Destructive Patterns in the Workplace 69

5 Going Deep: Exploring the History of Your Family Patterns 102

Part Three: A New Me, A New You, A New Organization

6 Defining a More Authentic You at Work 133

7 Talking Together 168

8 Connecting the Dots 190

Appendix 207

Notes 211

About the Author 217

Index 219