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Leading With Emotional Courage: How to Have Hard Conversations, Create Accountability, And Inspire Action On Your Most Important Work

Leading With Emotional Courage: How to Have Hard Conversations, Create Accountability, And Inspire Action On Your Most Important Work

Peter Bregman

ISBN: 978-1-119-50569-3

Jul 2018

272 pages

In Stock

$28.00

Description

The Wall Street Journal bestselling author of 18 Minutes unlocks the secrets of highly successful leaders and pinpoints the missing ingredient that makes all the difference

You have the opportunity to lead: to show up with confidence, connected to others, and committed to a purpose in a way that inspires others to follow. Maybe it’s in your workplace, or in your relationships, or simply in your own life.  But great leadership—leadership that aligns teams, inspires action, and achieves results—is hard. And what makes it hard isn’t theoretical, it’s practical. It’s not about knowing what to say or do. It’s about whether you’re willing to experience the discomfort, risk, and uncertainty of saying or doing it. In other words, the most critical challenge of leadership is emotional courage.  If you are willing to feel everything, you can do anything.

Leading with Emotional Courage, based on the author’s popular blogs for Harvard Business Review, provides practical, real-world advice for building your emotional courage muscle. Each short, easy to read chapter details a distinct step in this emotional “workout,” giving you grounded advice for handling the difficult situations without sacrificing professional ground. By building the courage to say the necessary but difficult things, you become a stronger leader and leave the “should’ves” behind.

Theoretically, leadership is straightforward, but how many people actually lead? The gap between theory and practice is huge. Emotional courage is what bridges that gap. It’s what sets great leaders apart from the rest. It gets results. It cuts through the distractions, the noise, and the politics to solve problems and get things done. This book is packed with actionable steps you can take to start building these skills now.

  • Have the courage to speak up when others remain silent
  • Be stable and grounded in the face of uncertainty
  • Respond productively to opposition without getting distracted
  • Weather others’ anger without shutting down or getting defensive

Leading with Emotional Courage coaches you to build your emotional courage, exercise it effectively, and create an environment in which people around you take accountability to get hard things done.

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Why You Should Read This Book xxv

Self Assessment xxxvii

ELEMENT ONE

BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE 1

PART ONE KNOW WHO YOU ARE 3

Chapter 1 Be Yourself 5

The High Cost of Conformity, and How to Avoid It

Chapter 2 Find Your Ground 9

Stay Steady, Balanced, and Calm

Chapter 3 Stay Curious About Yourself 13

How to Ask for Feedback That Will Actually Help You

Chapter 4 Access Self-Compassion 17

The Problem with High Expectations

Chapter 5 Embrace Your Shadow 21

How to Avoid Becoming the Person You Hate

Chapter 6 It’s Not All About Achievement 25

Stop Worrying About How Much You Matter

PART TWO BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE 29

Chapter 7 Find Clarity 31

What’s Your One Big Theme?

Chapter 8 Become More of Who You Are 35

You’re Already Pretty Amazing

Chapter 9 Stay Focused 39

You Need to Practice Being Your Future Self

Chapter 10 Be Strategic and Intentional 43

Five Steps to Investing Your Energy More Wisely

Chapter 11 Don’t Lose Yourself in Pursuit of Becoming Yourself 47

Take Your Life Back

Chapter 12 How Will You Measure Success? 51

Why You Should Treat Laughter as a Metric

ELEMENT TWO

CONNECT WITH OTHERS 55

PART ONE BE CURIOUS AND TRUSTING 57

Chapter 13 The Impact of Trust 59

The Real Secret of Thoroughly Excellent Companies

Chapter 14 Stay Open 63

How to Really Listen

Chapter 15 Stay Curious About Others 67

People Can’t Be Summed Up by Personality Tests

Chapter 16 Stay Creative 71

Are You Trying to Solve the Wrong Problem?

Chapter 17 Be Useful 75

Hold the Baby

Chapter 18 Make People Feel Good 79

How Not to Lose a Sale

PART TWO BE CLEAR AND TRUSTWORTHY 83

Chapter 19 Everyone Is Contagious 85

How to Use Your Superpower for Good

Chapter 20 Use Fear as a Guide 89

How to Talk About What You Most Dread

Chapter 21 Lead with the Punchline 93

How to Start a Hard Conversation

Chapter 22 Skillful Communication in the Heat of the Moment 97

Outsmart Your Next Angry Outburst

Chapter 23 Own Your Stuff 101

I Want You to Apologize

Chapter 24 Let Others Know You See Them 105

20 Seconds to a Better Bonus

ELEMENT THREE

COMMIT TO PURPOSE 109

PART ONE ENERGIZE YOUR FOCUS 111

Chapter 25 Play Hard 113

Nadal Is Strong Enough to Cry; Are You?

Chapter 26 Know Where You’re Going 117

Define Your Big Arrow

Chapter 27 Focus Where It Matters 123

Four Areas to Focus Your Attention

Chapter 28 Use Your Focus as a Filter 127

Use Your First Day Back from Vacation to Energize Your Focus

Chapter 29 You Can’t Say It Enough 131

The Mouthwash Principle: For Energized Focus, Rinse and Repeat

Chapter 30 And Sometimes It’s Better to Say Less 135

If You Want People to Listen, Stop Talking

PART TWO FOCUS THEIR ENERGY 139

Chapter 31 Gifted, Game, and Generous 141

Three Qualities All Leaders Need to Cultivate Within Their Teams

Chapter 32 Engage from the Beginning 145

The Farm-to-Table Method of Focusing the Energy of Your Team

Chapter 33 Helping Others Be Trustworthy 149

The Secret to Ensuring Follow-Through

Chapter 34 Creating Accountability 153

Five Building Blocks for a Culture of Accountability

Chapter 35 Bigger Than You 157

Why Leaders Should Try to Be Overwhelmed

Chapter 36 Improving Performance After a Critical Error (PACE) 161

How to React When Someone Disappoints

ELEMENT FOUR CULTIVATE

EMOTIONAL COURAGE 165

PART ONE FEEL COURAGEOUSLY 167

Chapter 37 Know What You Are Feeling 169

Develop Your Awareness

Chapter 38 Feeling Is Physical 173

Dance with Your Monster

Chapter 39 Practice Feeling 177

Embracing Temptation

Chapter 40 Feel Uncertainty 181

The Emotional Adventure of Leadership

Chapter 41 Be Willing to Feel the Hard Stuff 185

Why Leaders Must Feel Pain

Chapter 42 Feel Everything 189

Allow for Complexity

PART TWO ACT BOLDLY 193

Chapter 43 Risk Is the Key to Leadership 195

Unlocking Your Success Equation

Chapter 44 Build Your Risk Muscle 199

The Small Personal Risks That Change Behavior

Chapter 45 Make a Decision 203

Act Boldly to Get Moving

Chapter 46 Risk Truth 207

It’s Your Job to Tell the Bold Truths

Chapter 47 Try Something Different 211

The Unexpected Power of Inauthenticity

Chapter 48 The Limitless Possibility of Now 215

A Question That Can Change Your Life

 Epilogue 219

Acknowledgments 221

About the Author 223