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Nurture the Nature: Understanding and Supporting Your Child's Unique Core Personality

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Nurture the Nature: Understanding and Supporting Your Child's Unique Core Personality

Michael Gurian

ISBN: 978-0-787-99527-0 April 2007 Jossey-Bass 352 Pages

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Description

From Michael Gurian, the best-selling author of The Minds of Boys and The Wonder of Girls, comes the next-step book that shows how any parent can tune into a child’s unique core personality, hard wiring, temperament, and genetic predisposition in order to help that child flourish and thrive.

Based on the most recent brain research, Nurture the Nature features the Ten Tips for Nurturing the Nature of Your Baby, self-tests, checklists, and many other tools for you to help your kids get exactly the kind of support they need, from infants to adolescents.

While offering positive ideas for nurturing your child, Gurian also shows how to avoid the stress, pressures, and excessive competition of what he identifies as social trends parenting. Most parents know instinctively that their child is unique and has special potential, weaknesses, and strengths. No child is a blank slate. Gurian calls on parents to turn away from one-size-fits-all approaches and instead support the individual core nature of a child with effective and customized loving care.

Understanding Your Own and Your Child’s Core Nature: An Observation Tool vii

Acknowledgments xv

Introduction: Rediscovering Our Children 1

Your Child’s Nature 5

Nurture the Nature of Your Child 7

Essential Parenting 12

A Special Feature for Moms and Dads with Newborns: Ten Tips for Nurturing the Nature of Your Baby 15

Part One Protecting the Nature of Your Child 19

1 Escaping the Social Trends Parenting System 21

What is Chronic Stress in the American Family? 24

The Social Trends Parenting System 32

Nurturing Your Child’s Nature 37

Getting Started 39

2 Understandinging the Core Nature of Your Child 43

Using Nature-Based Theory in Your Family 46

The Myth of the Blank Slate Child 47

Eight New Sciences That Can Help You Understand Your Child’s Core Nature 52

Creating a Profile of Your Child’s Core Nature 63

Your Essential Parenting Blueprint 77

“Who Am I?” 78

Part Two Nurturing the Nature of Your Child 83

3 Nurturing the Nature of Your Infant 85

Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 86

Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Infant 87

Natural Differences Between Infant Boys and Girls 92

A Revolution in Parenting 94

Essential Mothers, Essential Fathers 95

Parents-Beyond-Parents 100

The Importance of the Mother-Infant Bond 104

Burning Question: Can Vaccinations Harm My Infant? 112

Parenting as a Spiritual Discipline 113

4 Nurturing the Nature of Your Two- to Three-Year-Old 116

Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 117

Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Toddler 117

Natural Differences Between Toddler Girls and Boys 121

The Importance of Play, Order, and Discipline 125

Self-Awareness of Your Own Core Nature 132

Burning Question: How Do I Handle Tantrums? 133

“She Was a Handful!” 136

5 Nurturing the Nature of Your Four- to Six-Year-Old 138

Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 141

Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Four- to Six-Year-Old 142

Natural Differences Between Boys and Girls Age Four to Six 146

Handling Sibling Rivalry 148

Helping Your Self-Educating Child Ask, “Who Am I?” 151

Redefining Food, Shelter, and Clothing 156

Burning Question: How Do I Find the Best School for My Four- to Six-Year-Old? 162

Moving Forward with Both Peace and Excitement 166

6 Nurturing the Nature of Your Seven- to Ten-Year-Old 170

Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 171

Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Seven- to Ten-Year-Old 172

Natural Differences Between School-Age Girls and Boys 175

Focusing on the Art of Relationship to Protect Your Child’s Core Nature 178

Protecting a Child’s Core Nature by Creating Symbiotic Marriage or Symbiotic Divorce 182

Burning Question: How Much Media is Too Much? 193

The Courage of Parents 197

Part Three Nurturing the Nature of Your Adolescent 201

7 Nurturing the Nature of Your Eleven- to Fourteen-Year-Old 203

Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 205

Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Pubescent Child 206

Natural Differences Between Early Adolescent Boys and Girls 211

Helping Your Pubescent Child Through Early Adolescent Adaptations of Core Nature 214

Joining Together to Link Fathers and Men to Early Adolescents 221

Burning Question: How Do I Protect My Early Adolescent’s Self-Esteem? 226

Moving Forward with Pride 231

8 Nurturing the Nature of Your Fifteen- to Eighteen-Year-Old 235

Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 238

Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Middle Adolescent 239

Natural Differences Between Middle Adolescent Girls and Boys 244

Adapting Your Family to Accommodate Your Middle Adolescent’s Individuation of Core Nature 247

Helping Adolescents Through Crisis 254

Burning Question: What is the Best Way to Handle Peer Groups? 261

Becoming a Woman, Becoming a Man 267

9 Nurturing the Nature of Your Adolescent of Nineteen and Older 271

Preview of Essential Developmental Tasks 273

Information Essential to Nurturing the Core Nature of Your Late Adolescent 274

Natural Differences Between Young Men and Young Women 277

Identifying and Helping Young Men and Young Women Who Lack a Mission in Life 282

Burning Question: Why are Young People Maturing So Much Later Than We Did? 293

The Mission in Life 295

Epilogue 299

Appendixes

A: Principles of Nature-Based Families 301

B: Tracking Your Child’s Core Personality Through Genetics: How to Draw and Understand a Genogram 303

C: More Help with Food, Shelter, and Clothing: A Discussion Starter for Parent Groups 307

Notes and References 311

Bibliography 337

The Gurian Institute 341

About the Author 343

Index 345